Showing posts with label god your shins are awfully white. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god your shins are awfully white. Show all posts

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Old Men & Socks

12 COOOOOOMMENTS! Now you speak up!
I know what you're thinking.

That title sounds mysteriously close to "old men and sex"... but you should get your bloody mind out of the gutter, sicko.

Wait, what? You weren't thinking that?

Okay, sorry.

I have made mention many a time within the last week or two to FeyoncĂ©™ that old men have this need to pull their socks up to their armpits when wearing socks and running shoes (tennis shoes, sneakers, gym shoes, whatever the masses call them).

I absolutely do not understand this phenomenon, and trust me, it's EVERYWHERE.


Older men have a fear of shin exposure.


My thoughts?


If you wanted to wear pants, you should have worn pants, buddy.

The only other conclusion? Perhaps they think they look sexy in them, like this:

SPOILER ALERT: You do NOT look sexy like this in long socks.



I think I finally convinced my own (very youthful!) father that he should at least push them down a little... you know, schuschz them down a bit, so they don't look like lederhosen-gone-wild.


He also blew my mind by adopting "Jesus sandals" and possibly CROCS to take the garbage out, motherfuckers! CROCS! That is when I KNEW those things must be comfortable. I was happy to see him establish independence from his tube sock dependency.

It CAN be done, people of the blogosphere. He is walking proof. Walking proof without a sock tan up to his kneecaps. Thanks Dad!




I know you would never go the route of ankle socks, but I swear they are awesome with running shoes. 


You can't even see these mysterious socks with runners, but they prevent blisterage. LISTEN OLD MEN!






I think older men of the world should, nay, MUST free themselves of the chains that bind them - you know, the white tube socks that force their calves and ankles to sweat in this heat. 

Let your legs be free my friends! Embrace the sandal! There are so many months for you to be hunkered down in pants and socks and closed-in shoes!


Be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[EDIT: Compression stocking-wearers excluded!!]

But then again, don't bear too much toe cleavage. That's just gross.

Why I would never work with people's feet. *shudder*


Just find the balance, okay?






Pin It Now!