Showing posts with label jizz in my pants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jizz in my pants. Show all posts

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Clearance Minded

18 COOOOOOMMENTS! Now you speak up!
So I'm overdue. For a post. A POST people, I am not having any beh-bees or anything.

You know how I knew I should just at least post something? Because... wait for it... you won't believe it... BF said he kept checking and there wasn't a new post up. (WTF??) He usually only reads when forced and/or under duress.

So I had a few ideas in my mind. I've forgotten them all. Wicked. Instead, you get this.

Here's the deal. Yesterday, I went to the mall because I had a 30% off coupon for Old Navy. At least I feel sort of normal there. I glance at the regular priced merchandise, pick out a thing or two that I fancy (did I just say 'fancy' and mean it?) then I beeline it to the clearance section.

That's right. I'll admit it. The front of the store gets in my way. I do the walk/saunter/limp of shame to the back, where all the young, skinny-jean and Ugg wearing 16 year old Naviers roll their eyes because I am looking through "last season's" garb.


See? I practically saved as much as I spent. So.... it's like it zeroes itself out, sorta. Like net zero. Okay, not really.


Does some of it fit? Yes.
Most of it doesn't. But you know what? For the right price/discount, I'll make that shit fit. I'll buy three of them.

What's that? I'm not a size L? No... But IT'S $1.97! Minus 30%! Plus another 30% reduction!! How could I say no?


Logic? I'm sorry what did you just say? What is logic? I'm talking a serious sale bitches! It doesn't matter if it is fuchsia and XXL. It's only $2. I can paint in it (you know, in case I make a mess or something), or sleep in it. (Poor BF, I know... another day, another post).

How true it is... how true it is     (Photo Credit)


Last weekend I went to the GAP to get jeans that fit me. WHOA. They have redesigned it since I shopped for pleasure (what are we at now, about a year and a half of illness? sounds about right). I felt like your friendly neighbourhood GAP was all haute couture or something. It took me an eternity to find the sale section. And I feel incomplete unless I have fully scanned the sale section. (Unfortunately, BF was with me and had to endure this).

The sales clerks could tell I was "one of them". Having worked in the retail industry, I know how pushy a clerk is supposed to be. But not to me. They cud tell I wuz small beens and weren't thar to shop for denim coveralls at full price! Heck naw!

We are better than you. Go away.


THE MOTHER has taught me a great many things, and getting a good deal is one that I have eagerly and wholeheartedly adopted for myself.

Winners/T.J. Maxx/Ross Dress For Less = Jizz in my pants or, rather, jizz in my pants (NSFW?).



THE MOTHER, my sister and I have driven three hours across the border, paid toll charges, paid in American dollars with a crap exchange rate and gone to some of the stores IN SEARCH OF THE DEAL.

It's a sickness, but at least it is genetic and I am not alone in it.

It's funny because while I generally refuse to pay more for something than it is worth, I won't hesitate to overspend on gifts for other people. Or travel.

It's either
A) I see the value in myself as that of something on the clearance rack
B) I just really love a good deal and was raised that way
or
C) I don't know. Just seemed like there should be another option.

QUANTITY OVER QUALITY, BABY!!

I intended to buy clothes that fit my body right now, since I kinda look like a bag lady at times, at work. Oh well, I started with good intentions. Now I have more clothes in size large. Awesome. I also return shit like crazy, so....

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